If there is a vaccination for working mother guilt, they need to roll it out!
Being a mum is hard, but what makes being a mum a little easier is the love of your littles, and knowing that most other mothers are in exactly the same boat as you.
Being a working mum is challenging at the best of times, not only do you have to work a full-time job that demands most of your energy you are also on-call 24 hours a day to your children, a forever servant who cooks, cleans, baths, washes, tidies, organises, teaches and life coaches.
In this role you either sink or swim, you find ways to cope with your busy life or you lose control and live in a constant state of disarray with your mental and physical load weighing you down. I refuse to be the Titanic…. so I am swimming as fast as I can and trying to enjoy the ride!
Another thing a working mother suffers terribly from is working mother guilt!
If there was vaccine for this I would get it in a heartbeat! I feel guilty when I go to work, I feel guilty if I come home exhausted, and need to rush through dinner, bath time, and play time. I feel guilty when I want to sit down for 10 minutes even though I haven’t seen my kids all day. I feel guilty when I want to go to the shops alone, when I go out with friends or when I go anywhere without my children when I am not working. I feel guilty that other people are raising my children because I have to work!
I know I am not failing them… I am swimming, and as the old saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. I am working hard to provide them with a comfortable and safe home, to provide food, clothes, heat, electricity and I am proud that I am a strong mother who can do this for her family. Sometimes my house might be a complete mess and my washing is stacked high and sometimes my house isn’t an insta home. This is because I take each day as it comes and every day is different, I no longer stress that I have to do EVERYTHING. I do what is needed and the rest can wait for me. When time fast forwards and my kids are older, I don’t want them to say ‘my mum worked hard she kept our house so tidy’. I want my kids to remember that their mum worked hard but always had time to be their mum and have fun with them.
Everyone is doing their best and everyone’s best is different. Some weeks my home is so clean you could eat your dinner off the floor, the washing is done and there is food in the fridge. The next week if you walked on my floor you would stick to it, my washing is walking by itself and the only thing in my fridge is cheese strings, but no matter what my house is like my kids are happy, healthy and the next week I will do everything that needs to be done.
I have found organising things has made my life smoother and allowed me to let go of some of the things that don’t demand my immediate attention. I now make sure that when I come home in the evening, dinner is made (thank heavens for batch cooking) the kids are bathed, and the homework is done. Then we play, colour and connect. Then bedtime. I then make sure the bags are packed for the next day, lunches made, uniforms set out. I do some house work for an hour, load the dishwasher, hang up the washing, clean up etc and if it’s not completed within an hour, I stop!
Then it’s time for a shower and a cup of tea- some time to chill out for an hour, before bed. This is my golden hour, time to catch up with my husband and relax. I did feel guilty for this, I felt bad every time I sat down when there was stuff to be done, but you know what, life is to short, the world is not going to end because there are dishes in the sink.
Mums push themselves too hard, they don’t take any me time, they are always on the go, theirs minds always active.
It’s time to hit pause, push the working mother guilt aside and worship self care, after all a happy mum is a healthy mum.